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Why Children Like to Cry Instead of Talk ?


Baby cries a lot. It continues to 2 years old, 3 years old, 4 years old, 5 years old and she’s turning 6 years old soon, but, my eldest daughter still cries a lot. I always advice her to talk and don’t just cry. Sometimes, I really don’t understand why she will cry for even for small matters.

1. Language central which processes verbal communication is not fully develop. She is unable to clearly express her feelings and emotions immediately. So, she will use crying to express her feeling which is faster way out.

At this moment, if I request my child to talk and not to cry, she will become more tension. Because she cannot talk properly, but I still keep asking her to talk. This will makes her don’t know what to do and become more emotional. However, if I comfort my child by saying “It’s ok, say slowly” or “I’m listening”, then she will calm down.


2. Emotional central which control emotions is not fully developed. Because this part of brain of adults are developed, we can control our emotion. However, this part may not fully develop for a child and so she cannot control her emotion. Once the child starts to cry, then they cannot stop it. So, it’s true that the child cannot stop crying and they are not pretending.

At this moment, if I ask my child why you cry? She will feel that I didn’t understand her and I don’t know what she is thinking. However, if I help my child to identify her emotion, she will feels better. Example: “I know you are angry now, we shall talk later” or “I know you are sad now, we shall talk later”.


3. Delay gratification function is not fully develop. Children are impatient and cannot wait. If they encounter problem, they will burst in 1 second.

At this moment, if I ask my child to talk and don’t cry? She will burst in 0.5 second. Instead, I should shift the focus and comfort my child by saying:-“where is the stop crying button, mommy help to switch off” or “I will know why you are crying”



It is very important for parents to teach child about emotional intelligent. A child’s emotion can only grow in a comforting environment. This is a gift that she will use for a lifetime.